New in town: finding your way in the neighborhood

Relocating to a new city—or even just a new neighborhood—can stir up a whole swirl of feelings. One minute you’re riding a wave of excitement (“fresh start!”), and the next, you’re buried under a pile of boxes, wondering where your favorite mug ended up and how anyone has time to make friends as an adult.

For many people in their 20s and 30s, especially here in Chicago, moving often comes with big transitions: new jobs, new roommates, new commutes, or even that very first apartment. And while the shiny promise of change can be energizing, it also brings with it a sense of disorientation—like your life is still packed in a moving box somewhere, and you're not quite sure which one.

Beyond the logistics of unpacking and figuring out where the light switches are, there’s a more subtle challenge: feeling like you belong. It’s common to feel both hopeful and lonely in the same breath. You might be surrounded by people but still feel like a stranger in your own routine. The to-do list is long (set up internet, find your nearest pharmacy, call your mom back), but what you might really be craving is something much simpler: familiarity.

Whether you’re finding your rhythm or still searching for it, therapy can be a place to unpack—emotionally, at least—and explore how you're adjusting. Please contact me at Growing Sideways Therapy to connect.

One gentle way to start feeling a little more rooted: choose one local spot and become a regular. Whether it’s a coffee shop on the corner, a neighborhood grocery store, or the bookstore you keep meaning to check out—go there. And then, go back again.

There’s something quietly comforting about being recognized, even if it’s just a barista remembering your order or a cashier offering a smile that says, Hey, I’ve seen you before. These small moments of connection can help soften the edges of loneliness. Over time, they become tiny threads of belonging, stitching you into the fabric of your new community.

If you’re struggling to feel settled, please know: this is a normal part of starting over. Even good change can leave you feeling a little lost at first. Give yourself permission to take it slow. You don’t have to have everything figured out right away. And you definitely don’t need to do it alone.

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